Combining Sentences While Eliminating Redundancy
Often, the best way to improve your writing is two combine redundant, choppy sentences into a single longer sentence using a conjunction or another connecting word. For example, here is a sample set of a sentences from a student essay: "Their life falls apart and they end up having depression. They end up having depression because they have spent huge amounts of money and time to attempt to look and act like their role model." In another post I talked about getting rid of "dead wood" or redundant language. One of the easiest ways to accomplish this is by removing the repeating words and hooking the sentences together using the word "because." "Their life falls apart and they end up having depression. They end up having depression because they have spent huge amounts of money and time to attempt to look an act like their role model." The combined sentence: "Their life falls apart and they end up having depression because t he...